!

What has become of this?

I feel it should be made public that this is unlikely to be the nanowrimo for 2011, but may well prove to resurrect itself and form something for 2012, or something in between – something like extremely local novella writing year project? What would that make it… ExLoNoWriPro…. has about as much cachet as NaNoWriMo I think!

Read More »(((mor

November 01 @ 06:41 PM | 0 Comments
November 03

Acknowlege

Ana for the branch idea, leading to the blindness idea – honestly guvnor!

06:03 AM | 0 Comments
!

Click “November 2011” under Archives to read

Welcome, settle down, enjoy your reading here, but do not expect great literature. This is live writing in the raw
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October 31 @ 01:30 AM | 0 Comments
November 01

Preface

ooh err shall we?

12:14 AM | 0 Comments
November 04

In progress - Enter the dragon

She had to get rid of the smell, that was how it began, or so it seemed to her. Amelia was more than a little sensitive and it was often commented on, what was not commented on so often, because it could not be seen ,was the amount of extra process that was going on whilst she was managing this sensitivity.
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12:00 AM | 0 Comments

In Progress - Chapter ?

being prepared in libreoffice right now!
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12:15 AM | 0 Comments
November 16

Savouring creation

and so it came to pass there was no rush. It had been long enough of the mindless urge to mount up words beyond number at a pace that was punishing.
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04:06 AM | 0 Comments
December 01

grab these sometime, somewhere, somehow

It was so shiny Pavol almost thought is was a shimmering illusion, heaven sent and ephemeral; until he smelt the rubber and faint tang of machine shop oils,
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04:44 PM | 0 Comments
December 26

and so…

it began… On a surprisingly warm night in November!

03:02 AM | 2 Comments
December 28

It’ll be alright on the night!

Warning, novella spoiler alert, planning plot for November first kick off… nah only kidding, these were all the ones that got away, think of them as “out takes”
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06:20 AM | 0 Comments
December 29

Alright on the night part deux

I think we may have a contender for therapeutic whirring of the darker side of life
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03:22 AM | 0 Comments
December 30

patricide = biggest spoiler ever

could be an option
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01:49 AM | 0 Comments
!

The one that got away

we have the plot – it is the life and times of Blurby!

SPOILERS as they say in the blogosphere are below but you will find them very minor – not even the title is known yet!
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December 30 @ 07:23 AM | 0 Comments

Historical notes in course to plotline, let nano begin!

or possibly this is a step too far, it will most surely enable me to avoid any criticism of the “plagiarizing form real life” in literature sort of scenario

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11:36 PM | 0 Comments
December 31

grab bag

in a real imaginary world everything’s made betteri

n a real sarcastic world everything’s made better

in a real sarcastic world everything (verbs) better
dedications:-

For daughter, with devotion

For Aero, a flight of fancy

To Annie and Aero, the only woman for me!

To stokers everywhere, they’ll never know how hard their captions pull

To captains everywhere who never hear the stokers peayer

For Derek, who took us there

acknowledgements ,may also scatter the above freely

10:27 PM | 0 Comments
January 03

managine what comes up (“carving” if you will)

And so it came to pass that I did not start at the beginning! This is something that has come up and will need management, and I can not the stuff here and in any other “January 2012” posts!

It’s interesting and I wonder if it varies from one to another of one’s writing experiences, when I have heard authors interviewed it always seems they have a “strategy” probably a learnt one, and start with an outline, or at the beginning, or with a character… But I am not sure I have any of that and I am equally sure the problems are very variable, for example last time in 2008 the problem was a lot more about the ENDING than the BEGINNING!

05:50 AM | 0 Comments
February 14

Letter to my step mother

Do you remember how you never really wanted to go to see your mother? How you had to work yourself up to do it….

Well multiple that by a very great deal….

And that is what it is like for me – but with an even more enormous guilt trip for the withholding of my daughter from you – allegedly.

Oh yeah – and I want the twenty five quid back you used to buy the flowers for YOUR mothers grave – you killed my mother you BITCH!

01:02 AM | 0 Comments
February 24

Letter to my Father

Jesus Wept

More than you did…. More than most.

You are never going to read this and little do you realise it but you are never going to see me again (if I can help it). I wonder how that would make you feel? Nothing I suspect, possibly a show of hurt if it suited your purposes for other reasons.

I have seen you cry for dogs – I have only seen you sneer in my general direction as though I were a mangy cur. That’s how you make me feel by the way.

Is it because you hate my mother? For what she did? I could almost understand that, but only almost.

Now that I am a Father it is a constant barrier I run up against to understand or forgive you. And it is one that I find impossible to reconcile. You were unforgivable, I suppose the unrepentant abuser always is. And how repugnant it is that as soon as the word “abuse” is mentioned you conveniently choose to take it as a sexual accusation. There are so many other forms of abuse – and you a Master of them, knowing or unknowing – it makes no difference to the victims.

I aim not to be your victim, at least no longer – that is why I cannot really afford to see you again – that is why I must almost (but not quite) deny you as a father. I could make a joke of it and say, “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you”. I used to have fantasies of speaking at your funeral – now I have fantasies of murdering you.

I am not even sure I want to be at your funeral – except that this could cause me some deep shit – if I am there it will not be for your sake and not for your memory either. I think I shall choose to mourn my mother if I am there – at least then it will give all the appearances of grief- when in fact I remain so unresolved I am dancing on your grave and far from sad at your disappearance.

Do you have any memories of your Children?

Here’s one for you – holding my head and forcing a spoon into my mouth past resistant teeth (while mother holds my legs) to make me take my medicine.

Here’s another – calling me a pigs arse for eating my spaghetti and biting the ends off

And another – how you tried to steal the leather jacket I got for my fourteenth birthday.

Enough already – the last healthy and good memory I have of you is sitting on the front doorstep of Montpelier Road in the sunshine when I was trying to get my head around having a sister – no doubt you were trying to get your head around the shit of being a father twice over with a woman who couldn’t cope.

And what was your response to the situation – a year or so later you fucked off and flew around the world ON YOUR FUCKING OWN! MY dear mother held things together -and you – YOU FUCKING COWARD blame post-natal depression for her death.

WELL I FUCKING BLAME YOU! AND YOU LET ME CARRY THAT»» ALL THE TIME people kept telling me “it’s not your fault” and “you must never feel it is your fault” I hope you know what message I was taking – and oh how you let me. So then about twenty years to late you say to me these words “would you like to talk about your mother, would it help? I’ve talked about her with Saskia you know?”

JESUS CHRIST – that takes the biscuit – talk about adding insult to injury…

FUCK you FATHER – and all you call FAMILY – I want fuck all to do with any of it… It is all sick and you are the one that made it that way. I hold you and your cowardice responsible.

In the name of ABUSE I declare you nothing to do with me.

05:33 AM | 0 Comments