6

Fred was replete. Yes he had eaten, but his ruddy face was quite aglow with excitement and another kind of satisfaction. Though the day was late, his mind was racing and his imagination in overdrive. Fred’s wildest dreams had never prepared him for the experience his blog was about to bring him, He dared not say the word, because he had become deeply superstitious on the matter, but to his excitable imagination he stood on the threshold of something entirely new to him. He had only the suave Anton Fehrnzeit to thank for it, he was sure, but he seemed to be on the brink of something quite new – in his mind he allowed himself to think the word even, Fred Allsop was considering the possibility he might have or be about to have a ‘girlfriend’!

He had learned that Lydia was in Lithuania and after feverish half hour reading on Wikipedia and googling miscellany he had decide to make a public statement:-

The joys of Lithuania 0 COMMENTS NOVEMBER 17 Fellow countrymen How many of us are aware of our neighbours on the continent. Our neighbours in the sense that we are a European nation? A European community even (if I may ommit the economic aspect)? I suspect few of us consider some of these fine nations, and so this with this post I shall explore and delve a little into the nature of such a country. As you can see I have alighted upon Lithuania. How many of you realise that during the fourteenth century this was the largest country in Europe? Poland was largely an annex of the mighty Lithuania of the past. But this was just the beginning for this fine country, centuries later under King Vytautas the powers of this mighty nation were far reaching indeed. And how many of us can begin to realise how far this mighty nation fell. They suffered awfully during the occupation by the Nazis and since then with Soviet persecution. It is still recent history that they have been recognised as a nation once more. Yet it seems they carry their heads high and unbowed. I believe they are a highly educated and beautiful, proud people. They are to be admired. I warmly welcome the people of Lithuania to share their views. I am considering furthering my travels with a visit to this remarkable country. They say the mind is broadened by travel and perhaps my mind is a little too deep for most people, so I shall have to broaden it. What finer country could there be to have the benefit of a visit from Anton Fehrnzeit? Had he overdone it? Fred was unsure, but he knew his facts stood up and in any case – he had every intention of following up with an email. Chancing upon the slogan “LITHUANIA – Know where you go!” had Fred daydreaming. In his mind the name Lydia Dypchyk had started to assume an identity, one that was already beguiling him in a way he had never experienced before. His imagination fuelled by the recommended ‘exotic’ stag tours, where young Englishmen rich in cash, squandered their holidays and overindulged in the cheap alcohol, found their scant morals shed entirely and allowed themselves free reign to take liberties with the local women who were only too happy to relieve them of their valuable foreign currency. He saw Lydia Dypchyk as an exotic and lovely Eastern princess, one who would only too readily succumb to the Western charms of Anton Fehrnzeit.

There was a faint tone from the computer, and Fred snapped out of his reveries, in which the lovely Princess Lydia was captivated by Anton’s intense gaze, bowing and fluttering about him, affording him many glimpses of her ample cleavage. Fred realised the alert was set for updates to him blog, and clicked ‘refresh’ to read what had been offered.

Comments Anton – for once you have done your research well! Lithuania really has twice as many people with higher education than the EU average and one of the fastest growing economies in the EU. It seems your mind has been broadened already!
SEG ON NOVEMBER 17, 2008, AT 07:56 PM Why yes, I am glad to see you have found out more than many about our proud country. But please do not be too quick to sing the praises of progress. Our economy and nation may be thriving, but Lithuania has a higher suicide rate now than any other country in Europe. Perhaps this is in no small part due to the loss of the old traditional ways and the influx of foreign culture and cash. Come and see us by all means, but as the slogan goes “LITHUANIA – know where you go!” so come here but respect and know the country, please do not exploit us nor our peoples. Some of the things you say concern me – I warn you that some of us may look out for the exploitative visitor and he is not welcome, not at any price!
OLGA ON NOVEMBER 17, 2008, AT 11:22 PM

Well, Fred thought, that ‘SEG’ certainly seemed to have changed her tune, though he felt slightly patronised that she assumed his mind needed ‘broadening’. But look, he had a new reader of his blog. He toyed idly with the idea that perhaps this ‘Olga’ could be the one whom Lydia had mentioned, no, surely this was just a coincidence?

Fred began to realise that he would never find out so long as this was all happening before him only on his computer screen. He had seen the pictures on the websites, the women of Lithuania did indeed seem most attractive to him, and surely if he escaped his native environment and assumed the identity of Anton they would not treat him as the women he had encountered here did? Surely in a foreign land it would be like a fresh start. They would perhaps be enamoured by his English accent? And the money he had accumulated in his savings account, surely that would go a lot further abroad in Lithuania, however thriving their economy.

Fred was unsure. There was a part of him that knew the Anton Fehrnzeit of his imagination was just that, a fiction. But when he wrote his blog, and the little exchange he had with Lydia, surely this counted for something. He felt within him the potential for something, but he could not trust what it was. It was not a thing he could describe and he was uncomfortable with it. Fred knew a lot of facts and figures, sometimes he genuinely spoke with authority, but when it came to matters of emotion or affairs of the heart Fred could not be more of an innocent abroad.

Fred had a moment of inspiration. The idea of the stag tours started it, because he would surely like to visit Vilnius. But he did not have the confidence to make such arrangements himself, he was no suave traveller like Anton Fehrnzeit, wise in the ways of the world. But who went on a stag holiday alone? It was not the way to do it – Fred would talk to his old school friend Steve. Steve was always up for anything and Fred knew if he intrigued him sufficiently then a trip to Lithuania would be on the cards.